I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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