I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
