i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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