When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
