I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
