that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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