I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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