I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
