I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
