did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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