i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
