I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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