3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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