I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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