Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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