hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
too bad you live with your parents still
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
