oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
