She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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