Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
