i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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