smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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