I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
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It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
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You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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