My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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