Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
