It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize