butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
