Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
