I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize