so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize