is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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