It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
