is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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