Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
