is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
