hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
