Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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