Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
