it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
