No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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