My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
