Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
