Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
