How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
