Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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