Did I show you my penis last night?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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