I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
