i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
