So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
