Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
