Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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