We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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