The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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