One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
