New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
