Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
