My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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