Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
