Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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