So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
