I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
