don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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