Walk of Shame today included voting.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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