I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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