i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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