i think my tv is drunk
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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