hotel room ftw
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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