u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
